Edit 3/23/21: A previous version of this post named a potential internet creep whose creepitude is currently being disputed.  Until their creepiness can be confirmed, they will be removed from this list.

Having grown up in the age of “use a fake name on the internet so creeps cannot find you” and having slowly transitioned towards a more identity-forward internet, I 100% blame Facebook for the shift in this culture. Back in Ye Olde Geocities days, almost everyone used a fake name, a ‘handle,’ a nickname because the thought of talking to Strangers on the internet was so WEIRD and unheard of to most people! They could be predators!!!

So you used a fake name, you didn’t tell people where you were from, and you maybe even used a fake age so people didn’t think you were a little kid. There are dozens of people on Neopets right now using accounts with fake birthdays, having trouble getting into them because they can’t remember what day they used.

It was…it was a LOT to trust someone enough to tell them your real name, where you were, to even be able to talk on the phone with them or to send them a letter. The first time I told my dear friend Laura, whom I have known on the internet since the year 2000, my real name it was like, holy fuck, I’m NOT actually Halley??? It was a major point of trust, and honestly, is probably one of the reasons we’re still friends over twenty years later.

Even with the introduction of early social media platforms like Myspace, you could still get away with using a fake name. Yeah, people started to have phones with cameras, so it was easier to put your picture out there. But unless you knew anything about them, you couldn’t easily trace anything.

Then Facebook comes along, and ruins absolutely goddamn everything.

The requirement that you use your REAL name on Facebook is unsettling at best, and dangerous at worst. Trans people who haven’t had a legal name change, drag performers, and people running from abusive partners are people I have all personally seen have their accounts suspended for “fake” names, with Facebook only saying they’ll be returned if they can provide a copy of a legal document with their name on it.

(I have had a fake last name on Facebook for the better part of a decade, so much so that people assume it is my real last name. It is not, because even though my profile is ‘high security’ or whatever, I still don’t need my employer seeing it. I have never had an issue. I wonder why. 🤔)

This ties into a troubling trend I have seen lately, both with D-list content creators getting some semblance of power and taking advantage of young, often underage, people – typically girls, but not always. Your Alex Days and your ProJareds and your Cryaotics and any number of weird Minecraft people I don’t know enough about to admonish. I’ve seen so many younger people with like, every minute detail about themselves in their profiles, with everything from their age, location, and contact info to lists of their triggers, mental disorders, and other private information you probably shouldn’t have out in public. When meeting new people on the internet, I’ve been given paragraphs of people’s life history, which is waaaaaaaaaaay more than I have probably ever needed to know, and that is coming from me, an at-best G-list content creator.

Parasocial relationships are…man, I don’t even know how to approach them. Content creators are not your friends. They can be! I’m not going to say never, but it’s more likely that you will be introduced to them as a person, rather than as a fan of their work. But people out there with thousands, millions of subscribers…they are not your friends. They are not your love interest. You can find them fun, funny, whatever…but if you are sixteen and they are in their forties, there is no way they can have your best interest in mind in a relationship sense. There is an imbalance of power that exists regardless of what you or they try to say.

I started creating Youtube videos when I was 29 years old, almost 30. I am an adult, theoretically responsible enough to know my limits, what I can and cannot do or say, and how much personal information to reveal online. Even at that, I have been doxxed during a Twitch stream. When I first started working online, I had several young followers that would often come to me for advice, and I have always approached contact with younger viewers as “a cool aunt that has seen some Shit” rather than a peer. I have seen many of those young followers become college students and eventually graduate, and that’s cool as hell. Would I get a taco with them if they were in town? Sure! Would I date them? Hell no, I could be their mother.

I lost the thread I was using to tie this all together, but what it boils down to is watching someone’s videos does not make you invulnerable to abuses on their end. Youth of the internets: it’s okay to keep some things private. Anyone who asks you to list out who you are up front before even deigning to talk to you is not worth your time. Don’t treat celebrities of any stage like a friend you have known for years. Be wary of interactions that make you uncomfortable. And content creators, do not be afraid to set boundaries yourself. You don’t have to respond to every comment, every demand, every suggestion.