Elyse & Cheese: A Love Story
Everyone, I have a problem. That problem is cheese. “But how?” you may ask. “You’re not lactose intolerant, Elyse! How can cheese be a problem?” The problem is that cheese […]
I am REALLY FUCKING GOOD at Wheel of Fortune.
Dear Pat, Vanna, Merv, and all you wonderful folks down at Sony Pictures Entertainment: This is half blog post, half open letter to the casting crew for Wheel of Fortune. […]
Tattooed Trilobite Book Review: Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk by David Sedaris
I make my first venture back into public blogging with a book review that will probably turn into a rant. Hooray! Squirrel Seeks Chipmunk is the first David Sedaris book […]
How To Play Bathroom Survivor
When I was sixteen, my father got me my first summer job. I worked at my county’s Transportation division. It was a relatively cushy job where I sat around playing […]
Disney Gave Me Unrealistic Expectations Of Dinosaur Extinctions
Blog, I’ve neglected you. You have fallen into the pattern of things I have but never remember to update because the interface isn’t as inane as Tumblr or as personal […]
Everyone Run, I’m Cooking Again!
Look at this pasta. Seriously. Hot Carl and I have started another quest this year. The deal is that I promised I’d help him eat healthily if he’d help me […]
Should Old Acquaintance Be Forgot…2010 In Review
2010 is finally at its close. Unlike 2009, which was an absolutely abysmal year for me, 2010 was pretty bangin’. I do have quite a bit more work to do […]
SPIRIT POKEMON, I CHOOSE YOU
The big thing on hipster-mecca Tumblr right now are Spirit Pokémon comics. The original was drawn by secretcat and it just kind of took off like a rocket after that. […]
Jingle Bells and other Holiday Et Ceteras
I have never been much of a Christmas person. Give me Halloween any day over Christmas. I’ve never been a very religious person, so the whole “Jesus being born” thing […]
Abandoned Places, Part 1: A New Hope
(For shame, a Trekkie quoting Star Wars? DEAL WITH IT) So one of the things I’ve been obsessed with as of late are abandoned places. Not just any old abandoned […]
Elyse Explosion 